being abandoned by someone whom you had believed to be your lover is a very intimate experience.

but still…

the pain will linger

gnaw

ache

SEETHE!

BURN and

RAGE

cause me to DRIVE RECKLESSLY

cause me to scream at BABIES

cause me to QUESTION MY GODDAMNED WORTH.

…

but this pain is mine, not his.

my mistake.

I thought you were my lover, but it seems I was living in a dream

and now my heart has become an open wound.

my mistake.

no, really. I don’t think I could have known any better at the time.

hope and kindness were a homemade remedy and I believed

I could cure the world.

(I’ve since learned that it is better to be a brutally honest bitch than

to hold the wrong people too close.)

you were silky and colorful,

and I dropped my glasses.

my mistake.

I didn’t realize at the time that some people

use words to communicate, while others

use them to manipulate.

(I don’t know if you were ever a very good person.)

but hey, really, my mistake.

I thought that you said what you did

because you meant it.

I didn’t realize at the time that some people lie

directly to your face about loving you.

my mistake.

I almost forgot how dark the world could be…

that the ones you hold closest can be the same ones

who vanish without uttering a word.

I almost forgot how dark the world could be.

(thanks for the reminder)

…

my true lover waits, and you have wasted my time.

goodbye.